The Horrors of Yellow

 

*The Horrors of Yellow*

It is not a little thing, the scream of certain yellows, not to me

Neither is 'that' green I can't even say the name.

This is the flip side of being a person and artist with #synaesthesia 

Some colours give me severe nausea, they both smell and sound like... Primal disgust

It is not fear per se

It is not just disgust

It feels molecular

Made husband dig out bush in garden, by back door. It made too much noise for me to exit or enter without more than courage. I have enough to spend my energy on, this yellow had to go 🤣🤣🤣🤢

And no I am not crazy

Not because of the synaesthesia anyway 😜

But as I was doing some @bethkempton work in @londonwriterssalon this morning - being a badass #fearlesswriter I accidentally flicked on to a page in my notebook from April last year 

A poem about the need to be carefull with yellow. Double FF'ed

Full of carefulness

And I thought... Don't be afraid to change this

Rewrite

Explore how I feel now

Well well

Top picture is today's crawling yellow scribbles

Pic two, below, is the one from last year

I have come a LONG way

And nowhere at all

Ha ha ha

#illustrator

#artbysussilouise 

#notthatyellow 

#yellow #damnyou

#ndbrain 

#neurodiversewriter 

@ellemcnicollofficial by the way is an AMAZING nd writer go buy her books for your kids.

Frayed and Fixed

 

#sussithepoet

#nottheGREATpoetbutapoetnonetheless

One of my very earliest lessons in creative living was from my mother. She was an incredible creative. Always exploring, developing, trying and learning.

And she was harsh in her teachings... No matter what age, if she didn't like my painting or story I'd know about it. I both learnt to take criticism and to fear it ha ha ha. 

HOWEVER

When a total stranger does I appreciate it for what it is - criticism from one's closest is another matter. When I say one's 😜🤣 I mean me. It rips at me and I have to swallow pride along with elephants and stuff NOT to jam myself into a sticky messy old pattern of mum related resistance. And I do that by awareness, I see it, i recognise it, I own it. It's not that I like owning it. It's just... I'm getting old guys, my edges are rounding like my back is and I have learnt that some patterns - they don't leave, better try and live with them. 

HOWEVER 2

She also taught me this... If you do the best you can - at that exact moment then at that exact moment that is the BEST. Don't be ashamed of a #workinprogress there is no such thing as perfect - just hard work, play and best at the time. 

So.

I give you 'Frayed and Fixed'.

I might give you a better version later. But right now, this is it. A stream of thought that came to me walking Alnmouth beach at dawn.

Kærlig hilsen

Sussi

#imperfectionROCKS